The hardest thing
for me
to understand
what I feel;
to not see
what I should;
why hurt and joy
insist
on a war;
that I can
function still;
why words
heal
The hardest thing
for me
to believe
my judgment;
my tears are
not a weakness;
that God has
forgiven
my mistakes;
friends still
exist;
and lonely nights
will end
You showed me laughter
when I saw pain
Filled me with hope
when I felt despair
And gave me joy
when I had sadness
You were a rock
when I was weak
Taught me to love
when I felt empty
And gave me kindness
when I needed comfort
You made me believe
when I was doubting
Guided me to light
when I held darkness
And gave me shelter
when I was scared
You spoke of honesty
when I felt empty
Opened up your heart
when I was hurting
And gave me friendship
when I was alone
Feeling almost ill
dialing the number
of her phone
And fully expecting
the could shoulder
and being alone
The ringing ends
stomach upside down
A familiar hello
Glad you called
almost cried and
now I know
To have friends
I can trust
believing in me
Tells me someday
I’ll be all
I can be
Delusional
I guess
to even think
a friendship
exists
Crazy
even maybe
to hold on
when dreams
evaporate
Hopeful
beyond reason
for the slightest
chance of
reciprocation
Telling
my self
to let go
I am
afraid
Aching
all day
I feel weak
as if
ill
Loneliness
is this
what it feels
so empty
inside
Desperately
clinging to
diversions so as
to forget
everything
God
if possible
can this cup
please pass
me
It is dark
as I wake up
and
it is hard
to adjust
To see the
dim light I
know
must be there
somewhere
Maybe if I
go back to
sleep
It will be
brighter
next year